Poised: Conversation Practice
How to ask for a raise.
Most raise requests are lost before the meeting: wrong moment, an argument built on tenure instead of scope, and a number nobody prepared to say out loud. Here is the preparation, the wording, and the answers to expect.
What this page covers
Prepare
When to ask, and how to build a case your manager can repeat to whoever signs it off.
Say it
Wording for the request, the opener and the ask — plus the five phrases to drop.
Handle the no
The six standard responses, and how to turn 'let's revisit next quarter' into a date.
When to ask
Timing is not about finding a magical moment. It is about not asking into a closed door.
Ask before the budget is set, not after
Most organisations decide pay in a cycle, and by the time increases are announced the numbers were agreed weeks earlier. Find out when your company sets compensation and open the conversation before that, not during the review where the answer already exists.
Ask when your case is freshest
Shortly after you delivered something visible, took on scope that was not yours, or absorbed work from someone who left. The argument writes itself while the evidence is still recent.
Do not ask into a crisis
Hiring freezes, layoffs, a bad quarter, your manager visibly drowning. You will get a no that is about the situation, and that no becomes a precedent you then have to work around.
Build the case before you build the sentence
Scope, not tenure
"I have been here two years" is not an argument; time passing is not a contribution. What changed about the job you do? More responsibility, harder problems, people relying on you, work you inherited and kept. That is the case.
Two or three results, ideally countable
Pick the strongest, not all of them. Where a number exists, use it; where one does not, describe the before and after. You are not presenting an annual review — you are giving your manager the sentence they will repeat to whoever approves it.
A figure you researched yourself
Decide the number before the meeting and be able to say where it came from. Neither this page nor Poised tells you what to ask for — use pay data for your role, level and location, and ideally more than one source.
Write the approval sentence for your manager
In most companies your manager is not the final decision-maker. They have to make your case to someone else, often in writing, often briefly. If you hand them one clean sentence that justifies it, you have removed the main reason these requests quietly stall.
What to say
Asking for the meeting
Do not raise it at the end of an unrelated call. Ask for time and say what it is about, so nobody is ambushed: "Could we book twenty minutes this week? I'd like to talk about my compensation." Naming the topic also means they can do their own homework, which works in your favour more often than not.
Opening the conversation
Warm, brief, and no apology. "Thanks for making time. I'm enjoying the work and I want to keep doing it here. I'd like to talk about bringing my pay in line with what I'm doing now." Resist "sorry to bother you" and "I know things are tight" — both hand over the argument before you have made it.
The ask itself
One figure, one reason, then stop. "Based on the scope I'm carrying now and what I'm seeing for this level, I'm asking for [figure]." The silence afterwards is the hardest three seconds of the meeting and the most important. People who fill it usually negotiate against themselves.
If they ask what you would settle for
Do not answer with a lower number on the spot — that is simply bidding against yourself. Ask what range is available, or say you would rather hear what they can do before adjusting.
What not to say
- "I need it — rent has gone up." True and unusable. Employers act on value, not need, and it invites a conversation about your finances.
- "[Colleague] earns more than me." Moves the discussion to pay policy and fairness process, where you have no leverage, and can damage a relationship.
- "If I don't get this, I'll have to look elsewhere." Only say it if it is true and you are ready for "we understand."
- "Whatever you think is fair." Guarantees the bottom of the range.
- Six reasons instead of two. Stacking arguments reads as talking yourself into it.
The six answers you should expect
These are the standard responses to a raise request. Rehearse a reply to each in your own words — they arrive faster than people expect.
| What your manager says | A way to answer |
|---|---|
| "There's no budget this cycle." | Accept the constraint, then get specific: when is the next cycle, and what would need to be true by then? Ask to agree it now, in writing. |
| "Compensation is reviewed annually, not ad hoc." | Ask to put it formally on the agenda for that review, and to agree the criteria today so the decision is not made without you. |
| "I'd need sign-off from above." | Good — make it easy. Offer to put the case in writing so they can forward it, and ask who decides and by when. |
| "How does this compare with your peers?" | Do not argue about colleagues. Return to the scope you carry and the results attached to it. |
| "What's changed since your last review?" | This is the question you prepared for. Two or three specifics, briefly. |
| "Let's revisit next quarter." | The most common soft no. Convert it: a date in the calendar and written criteria, or it will be next quarter again. |
If the answer is no
A no on the number today is not a no forever, but only if you leave with something concrete. Ask the two questions that turn a refusal into a plan: "What specifically would need to be true for this to be a yes?" and "When should we look at it again?" Get both in writing in a short follow-up email the same day.
It is also worth asking what else can move — a title change, a development budget, an earlier review date, or flexibility. These often sit in a different pot from base pay.
In person or in writing?
Have the conversation live where you can; ambiguity resolves better in real time. But follow it with a written summary, and if you would rather open the topic in writing first, that is a legitimate choice.
Poised's Coach drafts that message for you: describe the situation, set a goal, choose a tone of Warm, Balanced or Firm, and it returns a message plus what to say, what to avoid and why it works. Chips make any draft More firm, Warmer or Shorter.
Rehearse the meeting first
Knowing what to say and being able to say it under mild pressure are different things. Poised: Conversation Practice has Ask for a raise as a one-tap scenario, so this conversation needs no setup beyond your own details.
1 · Choose the scenario
Open Practice and tap Ask for a raise. The counterpart is your manager, arguing from budget, precedent and process — the same constraints a real one has.
2 · Set the scene
Who are you talking to? — name your manager and their style. Add your goal and context, such as the scope you have taken on or when your last review was.
3 · Pick your difficulty
Cooperative for a first run-through, Realistic for the likely version, and Difficult for a manager who deflects and makes you work for it.
4 · Say your number out loud
Type or dictate. The point of the rehearsal is hearing yourself name the figure and then holding the silence. Hint is there if you stall mid-conversation.
5 · Read the debrief
End & get feedback returns what went well, what to improve, how you handled the objections, your strongest moment and a Try instead list rewriting the lines that landed badly.
6 · Do it again before the real one
Practice again reruns the same setup. Most people find their number comes out steadier on the second or third attempt, which is the entire point.
Negotiating a new offer instead?
The conversations look similar and behave differently. Asking your current employer runs into budget cycles, internal precedent and a relationship that continues either way. A new offer has a live figure on the table, a deadline, and far more room to move. If that is your situation, salary negotiation practice covers the offer conversation specifically.
And if pay is only one of several things you need to raise with your manager, how to have a difficult conversation with your boss covers workload, feedback and boundaries.
Questions
Before you download
What if my manager says there's no budget?
Should I ask by email or in person?
Can I rehearse with my real numbers?
Does Poised tell me what raise to ask for?
What if I am negotiating a job offer, not a raise?
How many practice sessions do I get free?
Say the number out loud before the meeting
Rehearse the raise conversation against a manager who raises budget, precedent and process — then read the debrief.